Programming Languages (and Frameworks) and their Celebrity Equivalents

Ruby on Rails

Paris Hilton
Flavour of the moment and very simple. Able to turn her hand to many things, but the results won’t be anything groundbreaking.

ASP.NET

Tom Cruise
Unpopular with some because of his social views, but completely unavoidable. A juggernaut of the industry and will always get the job done and make buckets of money for his backers.

C

Al Pacino
He’s been around for a while now but is still the best at doing what he does: possibly the best performer in the industry. Has influenced more future stars than anybody else.

Actionscript

Peter Jackson
Achieves some really nice visuals and will deliver the ‘wow’ factor like no other. Appears to have had an entire rebuild for his most recent release.

PHP

Jennifer Lopez

Love her or not, she’s still favoured for her back-end capabilities. Most people are familiar with at least one of her projects.

Coldfusion

Michael Jackson

Still has some fans left, but most have jumped ship. Was the super star of his day, but those days are long gone. Will probably try to make a comeback at some point, but nobody’s got high hopes.

JavaScript

Ashton Kutcher

Often plays roles where he appears dumber than he really is. Has a reputation for ‘punking’, can offer a few nasty surprises when he decides to pop up.

Erlang

Eddie Murphy

Likes to play multiple roles at once, but nobody seems to know what to use him for.

LISP

Quentin Tarantino

Has done some intelligent work in the past, but hasn’t been put to much good use recently. Probably not destined to kill Bill, but would like to reduce him to Atoms one day.

Java

Renee Zellweger

Has played roles requiring some bulk, but can just as easily shed that weight for other roles requiring something more lightweight.

HTML

Kermit the Frog

Kermit isn’t really a celebrity. He’s completely flat when he hasn’t got somebody managing him through the back-end. He’s easy to understand and is accessible to all with the right script.

Others

Of course I’d have liked to add Python, C++, Pascal and others but have just ran out of imagination. Please use comments to add more.